Over the years, many of my regular clients, have asked “where is the little dog” when they arrive at my door.
If there is such a thing as dog heaven, dear Siriuss must have a special place there.
Below is an account of his passing.
Dear Dog’s Passing
Last Monday, my dear dog Siriuss had a stroke. The vet said he had fainted. I thought of it in the language of my mother as “a fit.” It was awful to see.
One minute he was sitting in front of me hoping I would share my lunch of cheese and bread, the next it seemed as if he flew in the air, landed on his back, shook and vomited and finished his life as it was.
It was not death. At least not physical death, but, death of his life as it had always been. He would have been 12 on May 1.
For the next two days he slept most of the time and I tried to convince myself it was just another episode.
Siriuss had been ill often in his life. He had been born, in some backyard breeder’s garage, probably. I bought him from a terrible pet shop, on Broadway, after agonizing for months—maybe five months? While he remained in the pet shop window.
He had always bounced back.
On Tuesday I called the vet and describe the incident and symptoms and we agreed he would visit next day.
We were snowed in.
After that call I gave a sigh of relief and took him outside, carrying him down the stairs and placing him at the foot of a snow bank.
He sniffed the snow and ate some. He had always loved the snow.
On Wednesday it seemed as if he was trying hard to be normal, sometimes following me from room to room as he always had.
He ate more snow and a little turkey bacon.
I found some liver in the freezer and cooked it.
He ate a few morsels.
When Thursday came, he was alert and I began to see clients again. But his breathing was loud and laboured. He sounded very congested.
By the end of the day, while I worked with my last client, he began to try to stand up by my chair and paw me. He did not usually interrupt. He was asking for help.
We were still virtually snowed in. I tried to get a taxi to take us to the emergency vet, but in the end, Blaise decided to risk the trip with all season tires. The snow was very much in evidence, but the roads were starting to clear, at least the main arteries.
The vet office was mercifully quiet.
I had wrapped Siriuss in a fresh, bright bath towel.
He didn’t seem to mind. Usually he would have struggled to be free. He was breathing, but with great difficulty.
The vet lay out treatment options.
These included a long stay in the hospital, much testing and prodding and specialists, at the cost of what would have been the equivalent of several months’ rent.
Or
Immediate relief from the struggle for breath and peace.
I chose immediate peace for him.
Blaise said, “You’re making the right decision, Mom.”
Calculate Your KEY Number
To find out what this month has in store for you, calculate your KEY number by adding the day and month of your birth. The KEY number is not your LIFE PATH number, it is the key to your cycle. Continue adding until you arrive at a single digit. For example, if your birthday is October 14, your KEY number is determined as follows: 10 + 14 = 24. Then 2 + 4 = 6, and you have the KEY number (6) that you will keep for life.
Key Number 1
The perfect cycle month for February.
Perhaps not so much for love and romance, but certainly this energy is right for rain and darkness. And for being cozy.
This is also the perfect month for looking within. This cycle energy is about the inner world of mind and feelings and emotions. So maybe it is exactly the right cycle energy for you to be in, at least the emotion part. However, it’s also a time when you may be misunderstood. While so much is going on inside your head, it’s important to filter a bit, especially in sticky situations of communication, before you spit it out.
In this cycle energy, there is some danger that you may blurt. If you’re not familiar with the term, it means you are likely to say what you’re thinking, without thinking. Very common under this cycle energy.
Key Number 2
Personal power! And hearts and flowers.
This cycle month’s energy is a harvest energy and a time when your chickens come home to roost. I always think some of the chickens are fat and juicy, and some are scrawny. It all depends on how you handled your expectations and visualizations in the past, and how much hard work you put into your future.
The energy in this cycle is very much about financial life. Depending on how hard you have worked, you can have reasonable expectations that your bank account could expand… or not.
In the romance area of your life, it’s also about harvest.
Spending time on your relationship—or your relationship expectations—is important. Movies tell us our soulmate is out there waiting. If it’s cold and he/she/they must stand on the doorstep in the snow, and you don’t open the door, the result can be a lonely Valentine.
Key Number 3
Tying up the loose ends of the past.
This is, for most, an emotional month. Of course, Valentine’s brings many gifts and challenges for a huge part of the population.
This cycle month energy can bring transformation in your thinking about many aspects of your life. It is also about completion and paying attention to what has been working in your life and what has not. The “has not” part will often bring things to a head. If you have been in any kind of relationship, whether romantic, family, personal, or substance, this is a time to take a close look at whether you are benefiting from these relationships or not.
This cycle month is the end of a minor cycle, and it usually brings a fair amount of drama.
It’s also a preparation for new beginnings next month. So whether you are dealing with a job, a friendship, relationship, residence or mindset, it’s a good idea to take a close look and decide what to keep and what to let go of.
This is a time to do a good spring cleaning of your life so that you can move forward next month.
Key Number 4
Somewhat scary, but also fun.
It’s important to be brave this month. The attitudes and ideas you held in the past may be up for examination and renovation. It may not be comfortable, but it’s good.
If you didn’t do a bit of mental housecleaning last month, getting rid of what does not work for you, you still have an opportunity. It may be more of a surface clean than a deep clean, but it’s a good idea to at least get rid of some ineffective and outdated ideas and start something new. Even a yoga class or a new attitude at work would be good.
In the romance department, sitting down and having a good talk with yourself about dignity and personal authority is necessary. Value yourself. Set some achievable goals at all costs, and factor in some new attitudes.
This is a time for new beginnings. Take advantage of the energy.
Key Number 5
Emotions, balance, helpfulness.
Although this is a softer month, a time when you don’t have to be quite as hard-nosed as last month, it’s also a time when relationship issues that have been brewing in the background, even those with friends or partners, will come to the surface and ask to be resolved.
Because of that, it pays to be cooperative, understanding and diplomatic at all times. This is a cycle energy when working with others is important, and so is partnership of the romantic kind. It’s a good time to work on strengthening relationships you are already participating in.
You are in the right frame of mind, if you are single, to find love—keeping in mind that you have to love yourself first in order to find a relationship that will benefit you.
With all this advice about being cooperative, it still important not to lose yourself. Your intuition is heightened, so when you see a red flag in any part of your life or in any relationship, don’t ignore it.
Key Number 6
Creativity will blossom.
So, you have been ignoring that creative voice that is screaming to be expressed for the last couple of months.
So, you have been trying to muffle that voice by saying, “but I have so much to do,” and you have.
You have been able to muffle it.
Stop that!
Find the time, even if it means finding a few moments in the morning to write three pages. This will allow you to empty the space filled with ridiculous worry and lists of what you “must do.” If you don’t get things started on the creative level this month, you will probably convince yourself for the next nine months that there is no time for your creative side. Douse that negative, uncreative, impulse with a deluge of creative writing and ideas.
It may seem like a whole lot of unrelated content, but you may be surprised at what that content contains. It’s a little bit like a volcano waiting to explode: the more you try to shut it down, the more pressure builds up.
If you do not allow yourself to relieve that pressure, you will be the victim of an explosion of energy that may cover all that could-have-been creative content. Leave the negative behind. Write or paint or blog or vlog, or even resort to Instagram, but do something that allows your creative voice to be heard. You will not regret it.
Key Number 7
Building and planning.
Though many people in this cycle month will be focused on hearts and flowers and romance, this cycle month’s energy—for you—must also be focused on practicalities and building. Whether you are building your business or simply building systems to make your life more streamlined, this is the cycle energy when you will be naturally inclined to be more orderly. And perhaps a little demanding.
Fix whatever needs fixing.
This applies to the physical world, like doorknobs and leaky faucets, but it also applies to any part of your life where you have begun to build, but have been distracted, and ended with a sloppy thing—physical thing—or relationship.
This is a cycle month of hard work, and you may have to put in extra physical or mental or even emotional effort to obtain your desired results. So schedule carefully to make sure you have the time to be focused on whatever you are trying to achieve.
Since this is an earth energy: if you going to make the most of Valentine’s, put a few plans in place.
Key Number 8
Fasten your seatbelt.
Last month’s cycle energy was slow and steady progress… very much the tortoise. This is the cycle energy of the Energy Bunny.
Even if you think it will be slow rainy and wintry, which usually coincides with “cozy,” you are likely to be called upon to take action and participate in change. This is a dynamic energy full of expected and unexpected change. It’s a little accident-prone so be careful. Haste makes waste and unpleasant unexpected events.
You can be adventurous and take calculated risks in order to experience new things because this is a year of progress and freedom. This is a year of progress and can be exciting or chaotic, which depends very much on your attitude. You may have to work harder to eliminate unnecessary drama from your life.
The way to navigate and enjoy this cycle energy is to be adaptable and flexible as much as you can.
Key Number 9
Love, family, domestic life.
If you are single, you are in the perfect cycle energy to go looking for love, and not only because it is Valentine’s. However, if you are already in a relationship, issues that may have been brewing could rise to the surface to be resolved. This is a time when couples either make up or break up. You could also take your relationship to a deeper level of commitment and understanding.
Wherever you are, this is a year to make all your relationships in your life as harmonious as possible.
Pay attention to your environment—your home environment. Make it as comfortable as possible. This is especially for you since it is an emotional time, so it’s best to have your nest in good order.
You may find you are in demand to give advice to others. Make yourself available, but don’t spread yourself too thinly.