Trump coming to Vancouver, celebrates with insane website

Why is that woman making out with a bear?

Get grizzly in Coal Harbour

Trump Tower in Vancouver to become a reality

Reality TV star Donald Trump will be indeed lending his name to the high-end residential development on 1133 West Georgia Street.

The project has been known as Vancouver's Turn, West Georgia between Thurlow and Bute should be called the Heartbreak Hotel, due to its inability to rise beyond a hole in the ground.

The twisty building will henceforth be known as the Trump International Hotel & Tower Vancouver. It just rolls off the tongue. Actually, hang on, say the acronym (TIHT) out loud. 

Epically insane Trump website

You know what, though, you really must check out Trump Vancouver's website and keep scrolling down. It just screams "1%".

1% problems

The idea of selling ultra-luxury real estate by depicting an evening-gown-clad woman making out with a grizzly bear is either insanely brilliant or ridiculously stupid. I just can't tell the difference anymore.

As for the salmon devouring the chandelier, you tell me.

Salmon vs chandelier

A message from The Donald's camp reads in part, “As we continue to grow globally, our goal is align ourselves with the best opportunities – and we know the Trump International Hotel & Tower Vancouver will be like no other hotel and residential offering.”

This is, of course, not true: anybody who has wandered through the West End will tell you that the area is shoulder-to-shoulder glass towers full of dwellings beyond the means of workaday Vancouverites. No grizzlies with a fondness for debutantes, though, so Trump's got us there.

TIHT will also be the first building in Vancouver to be branded by a pro wrestling hall of famer. So we can change "Trump Tower in Vancouver?" to "Trump Tower in Vancouver.", but the jury remains out regarding whether or not the site is cursed.

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